Continued from: Top 20 Reasons People Never Start Something New – My challenges to starting a blog. If you haven’t read this please click this link and read this blog post first.
The 20 challenges and how I overcame them to keep going
The definition of challenge is something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle or special effort. This is a call to battle with your own mind, your own thoughts, your story. It’s time to win the battle, change your thoughts, change your story, and you will change your life.
Ok, now I am going to touch briefly here on the 20 challenges and how I overcame them to keep going, to not give up. Because many times I thought about it, it’s been an uphill battle. It’s been a learning curve for me because I had no clue how to start a blog but it wasn’t all the technical stuff, it was overcoming these challenges, battling with them every day, it’s a constant battle. And the battle is in my own mind.
All of these 20 challenges were ‘my story’; what I was telling myself, my thoughts, my beliefs about myself, my habits. All negative, self-limiting beliefs. (It is a much bigger topic then one post, click here; What is the story you are telling yourself) – coming soon
First and for most, to make this simple (although it’s not always easy) change your cant’s into cans. Tell yourself “I can and I will, watch me”, “I can do this”.
Change the story. Tell yourself positive things. This is called self-talk, auto suggestion. On purpose, intentionally you are going to tell yourself positive statements, you are going to create a new story and tell yourself over and over. You have to imprint your mind with new beliefs. You have to take time each day to do this. It takes time and work to re-program your brain! (if we can learn the English language, this was imprinted in our minds from a young age, we can learn new beliefs about ourselves) Changing our beliefs, your thoughts, your mind takes repetition. And by doing it over and over your mind will start to believe it.
For example: instead of saying I’m not enough, you are going to replace that with; I am enough, I have greatness in me, I have my own unique gifts and talents, I have so much to offer this world, and I can and I will make a difference. So you get the idea, but like I said we will go over this more, it’s a journey. I am learning, and growing and that’s why I am here to share along the way, to do it together
Change what your telling yourself and tell yourself you can! When you say you can’t you never try and you will never succeed, if you say you can then you will at least try and you just might succeed. As long as you try, there is always a chance you’ll make it. Say ‘I can’ and you have a chance. If you never try, then you never give yourself a chance, you will never make it happen.
It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it and you can win this battle. I have a deep desire/a mission for this blog and myself, so it came down to yes I was afraid but I was more afraid not to do it. I didn’t want to look back years from now and have regrets over not going after something I truly wanted.
- Experience – It will come one step at a time, little by little. It’s about the journey not the destination. Because it’s in the journey we become better, stronger.
- Knowledge – Everything can be learned. Keep studying. But there will be a time when you realize that okay enough reading or studying, I can’t possibly read one more ‘how to start a blog’, ‘what to do with a blog’, other blogs, etc., it’s time to take action.
- Lost Feeling – Back to one step at a time. Make a plan. Write it down. And break it down into small steps at a time – this goes along with overwhelm too
- Overwhelm – like your lost in a sea of information! Try to limit yourself to how much you browse (research how to’s, etc). Set a timer and tell yourself once the time is up, no more browsing. This will help limit the information overload. Also see #3
- Distractions – Our daily routine, chores, etc. can be a big distraction. Set time every day to get away from the daily routine to focus on what you really want. It helps to make a place to do this too, a special place in your house designated for you to focus on what your trying to achieve, a place where you can’t see the chores that need done! (meditation, don’t make it too difficult, it’s a simple as focusing on your desire, what you want) Make yourself focus on one thing at a time, set a timer before moving onto something else. My biggest distraction was the computer which is ironic since it’s a blog I’m trying to create! But I would bounce all over the place form one website to another research, etc. trying to soak it all in, to learn, but there’s a fine line between working and it becoming a distraction. So if I needed to write sometimes I would just use a pen and paper to get away from the distractions.
- Self-doubt – You are capable of amazing things. (change your story)
- Unworthy – You are worthy; you have greatness in you (change your story)
- No unique talents – we are always trying to be like everyone else, following the crowd. I realized we are a creation from God and we were created different. How boring it would be if we really were all the same. We were created with our own unique talents, gifts, and abilities. How amazing is that we all have something to offer and its ours and ours alone. So you are different and that is beautiful. Be grateful for you and who you were created to be.
- Comparison – again I limited social media, because this was the worst for me when it came to the feelings of comparison to start creeping in. I had to remind myself that they were at a different place in their journey, my beginning is somebody else’s middle (does that make sense) Also this is a big one, they are showing the best versions of themselves lives, homes, etc. online (just like a magazine), you aren’t going to see pics. Of messy homes, just waking up in the morning. They are showing their best versions of themselves.
- Fear – Fear holds people back from pursuing their dreams. When you talk to someone on their death bed. It’s the things they never did, the things they never when after because they let fear hold them back, that they regret. Fear is a dream killer. Fear is a state of mind and you can change it. There isn’t much we have control over in this world, but we have control over our minds, our thoughts, so control what you are telling yourself. Change your story
- Guilt – I am doing this for a reason and my reason, my why is to become the best version of myself, I have a vision, a desire and if I am making progress toward achieving those desires, ideas then I will feel happier and this is the best thing you can do for your family. Is to just be happy. When you are growing into a better person, then you are becoming a better mother. There is nothing to feel guilty about. It is a feeling and a feeling comes from our thoughts. Change your story.
- No vision – Get Clear on what you want. See yourself doing what it is you want to do, hold that vision, believe in the vision, and keep focusing on that vision. Once you have a desire for something, focus on it and have faith, doors will open and show you the way.
- No time – it’s hard to find more time in a day to go after something we want to achieve. First again change your story, we tell ourselves all the time were busy we don’t have the time. But then we waste time doing things that don’t matter, like browsing social media. I tried to stay away from Facebook, etc., I got up earlier in the mornings, I didn’t watch much tv, and guess what you will be amazed how much extra time you have when prioritize. And you can do these suggestions and still have time for family and kids because when you were on social media, watching tv, or sleeping, you weren’t’ spending time with them anyway.
- No belief – if you were given an idea for something then it is in you to achieve it. I believe that we have a power inside of us that is all around us and this power will guide us, doors will be open, we will be shown the way. Believe in something bigger than yourself. It helps to figure out what is your version of God; God, Jesus, a higher power, divine intelligence, etc. Believe in yourself by change ing the story you are telling yourself and believe in something bigger than yourself in this universe.
- Perfectionism – Nobody is perfect. I realize that trying to be perfect was my perfect excuse for inaction. I was getting nowhere. I also changed how I thought about it, I would still love for it to look amazing (perfect would be nice!) but done is better than perfect. Trying to make it perfect and not getting it done, what was the point, when I looked at it like this, it seemed pretty silly to just keep going not getting done, it was like I was on a hamster wheel going round and round getting nowhere!!
- Comfort zone – None of us like stepping into the unknown. We would rather just keep doing what we know with where were at because it’s what we know, it’s comfortable. So I had to ask myself, ‘is this what I really want, if I stay in my comfort zone and 5 years from now do I still want to be where I am right now?’ And this for me was a big NO (for me I am talking personally/spiritually, I needed this for me, not because I wasn’t happy with my life, but I knew I could be a better me), I have desires and I know if I don’t pursue them then I will regret it and in 5 years if I am holding onto regret, I won’t be happy with myself, I won’t be fully living, and I don’t want to sit around holding onto regrets. My why was bigger for me then feeling comfortable. I told myself you have dreams, desires, they were given to you for a reason, you have a purpose, you have to go after them, for you, for your girls. If I want them to fully live their lives, follow their dreams and be happy, then I need to do the same. I realized, If I wanted this then I was going to have to do things I’ve never done before.
Figure out your why~ it will pick you up, it will push you to keep going, it will keep you motivated.
- No confidence – this is a feeling; this is not a magic thing that just happens to people. Confidence come from what we are thinking about ourselves. So what are you saying to yourself, if you are telling yourself you aren’t confident then guess what you won’t be feel strong, determined, confident. Confidence comes from believing in yourself. So again what’s your story you are telling yourself?
It’s just as easy to tell yourself that you can do this as it is to tell yourself you can’t.
- Shame – I was feeling embarrassed to put myself out there worried what others would think of me. If I am putting all my weaknesses out there what will people think of me. Again I know I sound like a broken record, but a feeling comes from what were are thinking about ourselves. Change your thoughts, change your life. I started to tell myself that who cares what they think, others people’s opinions of me to do not have to create my reality. Their opinions of me our none of my business. And really most people are too busy, they aren’t thinking about you; when I told myself this, I realized how true it was, we are all so focused on ourselves, how much time do really spend dwelling on another individual. I know I don’t want to spend my time this way, I have too much I want to do.
- Stuck – When I would start feeling like this, I just had to take a break. I would get writers block, when this would happen, I knew I was pushing it to hard I was getting overwhelmed and forcing it. It just has to flow naturally, for me it can’t be forced when I am trying to get my thoughts across or teach something. So I would just walk away from it all and do something else; a house chore, a walk, listen to relaxing music, and lots of times when I did this I would be hit with inspiration and if not I would at least become more relaxed (see post dealing with overwhelm)
- No Motivation – motivations isn’t something that just happens to us, it’s not like a magic wand is raised and ta dah motivation. Motivation is something we give ourselves through our thoughts. How we are thinking about the task ahead. You create motivation with excitement & joy in the task ahead. You do this with the positive affirmations, self-suggestion, etc. It’s also difficult to find our motivation when we are feeling overwhelmed, so be careful to break tasks down into small attainable steps. Say: ‘I can do this’, ‘I will do this’, ‘I love to workout’, ‘I am looking forward to completing this task’, ‘It feels so good to get work done’.
I am still working on these challenges, it’s a daily battle. A constant battle in the mind. Each of these would creep in at different times. I would be perfectly fine and then these little voices of doubt would creep in; ‘what are you doing’, ‘what the heck are you even doing this for’.
Never stop, always be aware of what’s going on in your thoughts, never give up and always be ready to shine light (positive self-talk) onto the darkness (negative self-talk).
When you start doing something you’ve never done before, when you keep progressing toward your idea or goal, you feel happier, stronger, more alive. We are at our best when we are climbing toward a goal; when we are growing, thinking, pushing ourselves to become better.
Until I start to believe in myself, I’m not going to be fully living, I will never have the life I want, the one I dream about, the things I want in this life and the same for you.
We are all full of greatness & we are capable of great things. There is a power within us and all around us. We just have to decide to be great & do great things. We have to choose. It’s up to us. We have to believe in ourselves even though no one else does. We are the creators of our own lives, no one else, so do not let them control you or your belief in yourself. Their opinions have no power over you unless you let them, you are in control.
I have a lot of work to do on myself, it’s a journey… I don’t know if I will ever reach the destination but the journey will be worth it. Imagine the person I will become along the way; stronger, happier, full of confidence, fully living, becoming the best version of myself.
We are the only ones who can change our life & make it happen.
To sum up what we’ve covered about challenges:
- You are in complete control of your mind, your thoughts, what you are saying to yourself
- You can just as easily talk to yourself positively rather than in a disempowering, sabotaging, negative way
- Change the story you tell yourself.
- Focus on ‘I can’ rather than ‘I can’t’
- Control getting overwhelmed by taking one step at a time, break it down into a plan taking one step at a time
- Just do it already. Just doing it is better than never doing it perfectly. There will never be a perfect time, so do it now
- It doesn’t have to be perfect, if you keep putting it off you will never get to where you want to go, you will never accomplish what you want to accomplish
- Do not compare yourself to others. This is yours and yours alone, you are unique you are supposed to be different, you were wonderfully made and full of your own gifts & talents
- Your story is different and unlike anyone else’s. (if your desire is writing, blogging, creating)
- You will learn as you go
- Decide what you want and why you want it. Write it down, make a plan, create a vision. Hold that vision of what you want.
- Life is too short and time is slipping by so fast. Do what you want, go after your dreams & desires.
- Believe in yourself, keep working on yourself, hold onto your dreams, don’t give up.
Life is a beautiful adventure, we just have to decide to step out of our comfort zones and live it!
With Love, Mara
Are you interested in starting something new, do you need a creative outlet, then check out these blog posts.
Or maybe you just need a pick me up, a kick in the pants to get motivated! What do you really want in this life? A wakeup call…